Forgiveness As A Sign Your Therapy Is Working: A Psychiatrist’s Perspective
Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts in both psychology and everyday life. Many people hear the word and recoil—thinking it means excusing wrongdoing, minimizing pain, or reconciling with someone who doesn’t deserve it.
But in therapy, forgiveness isn’t about the other person at all.
It’s about you.
It’s about your healing, your peace, your progress.
What Forgiveness Really Means in Therapy
In the therapeutic process, forgiveness often marks a critical emotional and neurobiological turning point. It’s not an act of forgetting or condoning harm. Instead, it’s the moment you stop letting a wound define your inner world.
When a client begins to talk about someone who hurt them—without getting emotionally flooded, without spiraling into rage or sadness—that’s more than a nice thought. That’s a sign of real internal work. That’s therapy doing what it’s meant to do.
Forgiveness, in this sense, isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a mental health milestone.
The Neuroscience of Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesn’t just feel good—it’s actually good for the brain.
Research shows that forgiveness reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that’s heavily involved in fear and threat responses (Ricciardi et al., 2013). It also increases engagement in the prefrontal cortex, which governs executive functioning, emotional regulation, and empathy.
In one study, participants who actively engaged in forgiveness showed lower heart rates, reduced cortisol levels, and greater parasympathetic nervous system activity—key signs of physiological calm and stress resilience (Toussaint et al., 2015).
Forgiveness is linked to:
Decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety
Better sleep quality
Improved cardiovascular health
Increased emotional regulation and resilience
Long-term cognitive flexibility (Worthington & Scherer, 2004)
In other words, forgiveness changes how your brain and body carry the past.
Therapy as a Path to Emotional Reclamation
Reframe forgiveness not as weakness, but as empowerment.
Therapy helps you reclaim the space that pain once occupied. It teaches you that your nervous system doesn’t have to remain trapped in old cycles of reactivity. Through trauma-informed care, CBT, psychodynamic work, and mindfulness practices, we help clients arrive at a place where forgiveness becomes possible—and sometimes, even natural.
Not because someone deserves it. But because you deserve peace.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Excuse the Pain—It Liberates You From It
Let’s be clear:
Forgiveness is not a free pass for harmful behavior.
It doesn’t erase the past.
It doesn’t require reconciliation.
Instead, it’s a deeply personal act of emotional liberation. You’re no longer carrying the weight of someone else’s damage. You’re reclaiming your time, energy, and identity.
And in therapy, that’s often one of the most meaningful signs of healing.
Therapy that works doesn’t just help you cope. It changes how you carry the past.
References:
Toussaint, L., Shields, G. S., Dorn, G., & Slavich, G. M. (2015). Effects of lifetime stress exposure on mental and physical health in young adulthood: How forgiveness may mediate these effects. Journal of Health Psychology, 20(2), 221–234.
Ricciardi, E., et al. (2013). Forgiveness and the brain: Emotional processing in the anterior cingulate cortex and prefrontal areas. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7, 239.
Worthington, E. L., & Scherer, M. (2004). Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience: Theory, review, and hypotheses. Psychology & Health, 19(3), 385–405.
